Where is the Good?

Romans 8:28 New King James Version (NKJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

While our daughter was on life support someone, I forget who, wanted to tell me about the above verse.  I was pulled away twice by my husband who needed me.  I excused myself but that verse haunted me.

It still haunts me because I fail to see the good in any of the this.  Our Sommer died 18 months almost to the day my mom died.  Mom died June 3, 2015, and Sommer died December 1, 2016.  Major blow for me and my family.

With mom, it was a “natural order” of this world.  You are supposed to die before your children do.  It’s just messed up the other way around.

My heartache with mom was not that she died but the court battle that ensued with the siblings.  You think you know your siblings until someone dies and leaves an estate to settle.  Sommer was there for me. Mom had asked me to be the executor of her modest estate in 2005.  When I agreed to do it she asked me not to fight with one brother.  I agreed and added that I have boundaries and I will not allow either brother to be nasty with me. We agreed.  Well, the worst did happen and just hours before she died I had hired an Estate Lawyer.  I took one phone call from one brother who cussed me out because I was “in control” of the estate. My humble advice is to have a will written and signed before your 50 years-old.

I say “the good” in mom’s death.  She smoked since the age of 16 and ended up dying from COPD. A terrible way to die and to watch.

I understood Romans 8:28 with mom but not with our Sommer.

I found that verse to be a “catch-all” verse.

You’ve just broken up with the person who wanted to spend your life with and a friend comforts you by saying, “It’s okay, God has a better man for you.”

You just lost your dream job. Again, “It’s better this way. God will show you the good in this.”

When something happens in our lives that does not go our way, let’s say, a new job, a promotion, a prodigal child or marriage breaking up,  Your friends want to make you happy again so they say, “Remember what the scripture tells us.  He works all things together for our good.” Or my favorite, “God never closes a door without opening another or at least a window.”

Sometimes losing a job is the best thing for you.  Perhaps you were beginning to compromise your core values.  It’s called the thousand mile rule.  My husband has experienced this.  If you don’t want to play the “thousand mile game” with the big shots when you find that you have reached a plateau and your career stops at the rung of the ladder you have been perching on while stretching for the next step. Don’t play no more pay raise.

Sommer’s death was good for her.  She is where she strived to be, with Jesus her first true love.  In paradise.  “All things work together for good for those who love Him.” Yes, she loved Him and she showed it by leaving a little sparkle wherever she would go. “to those who are called according to His purpose.”

I love God.  I’ve been called for His purpose. However, I promise you, the death of my daughter was never my purpose.  The death of our daughter has not been a good thing, for me or for our family.

God’s greatest concern isn’t for our temporal comforts but for our eternal joy.  That is a good thing.  Our affliction does end up for our good. Our eternal good. 

Some wounds likely won’t heal until you see Jesus face to face.  But afflictions have a way of helping o see Jesus clearer even now.  And that’s why we can say that even now we experience the goodness of God in the midst of our afflictions.

Afflictions conform us to Christ.

Afflictions loosen our hearts from “the world.”

Afflictions make way for glory.  And honestly, that’s how I want to live my life.  For the Glory of God.

As I have said before Sommer’s death only makes Heaven much, much, much more desirable.  I’d like Jesus to come for us but I know where I am headed and so did Sommer.

For His Glory.











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